Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
