Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
