got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
