If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
