I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
