the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
even my farts smell like vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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