I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
