I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize