i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
