I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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