I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
