Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
