There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
