You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My pussy is not your playground.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
