I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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