Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just pee around me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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