Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
