i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
