My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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