He is an equal opportunity slut.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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