guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
