I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize