yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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