"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize