oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
