you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
