I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
