woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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