drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
