What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
