Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
