Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
