He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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