I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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