my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..