you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?