apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.