I want to stick my p in your. b.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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