I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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