Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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