just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
