Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
