one might say we're banned from that church
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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