Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I currently don't understand fingers.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
