Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The air taste purple.
Randomize
