Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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