it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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