How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
