I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
