Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this will be a night to untag.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off