Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?