Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
