girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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