I got chris browned last night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
