After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.