so explain again why im purple
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.