real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.