Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.