nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...