im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.