do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
