Sponge bath it is.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
