Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
