i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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