pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
