im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize