I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
