I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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