do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
