This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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