Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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