Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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